Limbo is a four-letter word

Well it looks like Joel's surgery will be postponed for a week - the second postponement.
This is not fun.

She has an infection in her mouth that the dentist hasn't (exactly) found. She's been taking antibiotics, but can tell that the infection is still there. She may have to have a 'permanent' bridge removed and some other kind of work done.

The reason that all of this has to come first is that one canNOT undergo heart surgery with infection present in the body. To do so is a sure death sentence.

And that's why we are now living in Limbo - that 4-letter word place.

Joel is frustrated and disappointed.
I'm irritable and frustrated and disappointed.

All the doctors (surgeon, GP, and dentist) agree that this condition didn't happen to her overnight. They mean to reassure us that a little time spent between diagnosis and treatment is not very significant. And a piece of my brain hears them and believes.

But another piece of my brain hears labored breathing after some kind of mild exertion, and thinks/sees blood being pushed against a hole that's too small, then backing up and running over into her lungs. (sorry; I know that's not a pretty picture, but I'm seeing it all the time.)

And she, naturally, is resisting my strong desire to 'mother' her, to keep her almost totally at rest, to not hear the labored breathing...
Needless to say, we disagree on proper activities for her. And I get irritated and short tempered. And she gets irritated and frustrated because I won't shut up and leave her alone.
I do hear that, and I even 'get it'. She's an adult; she's competent; she's been taking care of herself for 65 years.
And I don't want to hear the labored breathing.

Our winter projects include finishing the walls and repainting the two spare rooms and repainting one bathroom. Since her diagnosis, Joel has finished one room and put the Kilz coat on the bathroom - that's in one week. That's patching, plastering, Kilz-Inc, and painting.

So here we are, in limbo...We'll survive it, I'm sure.
But I don't have to like it.
And it's going to go on a little longer...

I'm thrilled to have the room done, to see work going forward on the others.
And I'm guilty for letting her do it.
No, don't tell me...I AM conscious (most of the time). It just needs saying to get it out of my head.

Thanks for listening, for your thoughts; keep 'en coming, please. :)


Here's a small sample of what she's done. The faux painting is terrific...Artwork and drapes to come shortly...

Same room; one with flash, one without