the mired-in-the-muck part - C. Part 3
Sisters, I'm one sick, sick puppy. I am so in the middle of the addiction I can hardly talk about it...and it is so hard right now to get to the computer. IVs three times a day and work for the shelter and trying to put in some time for my care - I use the word 'trying' in its connotation of failure - as in 'she tried to throw the ball but it never left her hand'.
The thing to say right now is that, while your suggestions are good (maybe even great), I'm in a whole other place about food right now. The best I can say (or maybe the worst I can say) is that it is never out of my mind.
Thanks for being out there....gotta go, again.....
.........................................not screaming today, just crying..
posted by Kate Winner @ 9:35 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Oh, Darlin', How can we help?
What's been going on with Tai Chi? Any way to get ANYTHING back on the map to get you and your body in a better place? If you can only reach one tool in the toolkit (and the stress ain't going anywhere) then you run out of options really quick.
We used to say when I was a therapist "don't take away something unless you have a replacement for it", so, for better or worse, food is serving a function. If you just stop that without something else to take it's place in a healthy way your head could explode.
Don't make your body do something silly to MAKE you take care of it. Systems do have a way of breaking down. Self care is not an option, its a necessity.
Sending you lots and lots and lots of love,
L
The Tai Chi class went the way of the Dodo Bird, unfortunately. I just received the tape (short form) and hope to get back to it very soon, though I do less well outside of a classroom setting. Meanwhile, I'm not practicing any changes in the food plan. Just looking closely at the behavior and coming to understand what it is that actually needs feeding.
I've scheduled another massage (1/1/2 hrs this time, the 13th) and a session (the 17th) with a healing touch person I love and trust. And when they ask what I want, I say, "your full and complete attention".
Your Dahn exercises sound intriguing, too, for a little later on... additionally, by early March I'll be back at Curves regularly; we'll be done with the IVs and stuff and Joel will be much more willing to have me out of touch.
This is definately a mothering kind of thing and has deep roots. I do much worse if I try to pass up the things I crave than if I just have them - consciously.
And, yeah, it's feeling nasty. AND it feels like the time is right to look at this in a new way. Or at least, it seems to be presenting in a new way. I don't like thinking of myself as an addict, but ...oh well, so sad... it IS the nature of my behavior right now.
Thanks for checking in; that really helps. And I look forward to having a little more time to myself as Joel's recovery continues. She's doing SO well!!!
Thanks, Laura. Wish you were next door or down the block; we could sit on a rock and share a thermos of something... :)
and more love to add to Laura's batch.....
You will tell us if we can do anything, right?
You're doing it; THANKS
:)
Post a Comment
<< Home