Best Friends - revisiting
It's been more than 7 months since my revelation about my 'best friend' and the battle with Exfot.
I find that I can still be sad about that -- when I have the time and it crosses my mind.
I still don't have a 'best friend'. I have a great girlfriend who is working on being a best friend, but we're not there yet. I don't know how the move might affect that, but we'll see. In the meantime, we're seeing as much of each other as we can. Very much fun.
And I have a new buddy/singer/bikerchick who may let me ride her motorcycle one of these days. That's really cool. I like her a lot, and she's fun to sing with, even though we don't know many of the same songs yet (and are both altos!)...and she is the BEST pet sitter we've ever found. Li'l Bit loves her a bunch!
Dreams can hang on for a long time. I was talking with Joel and Steve today about that. Sometimes we can't go get our dreams because the risk of losing it is too great: 'what if I try and don't make it---then the dream is gone, too and I have nothing'.
Well I held on to my 'best friend' for a long time. And the loss of that particular dream is still sad sometimes. I find, though, that I prefer the sadness of the lost dream much more than the disappointment of the 'best friend' who doesn't call...
And I know, too, that the sadness is all mine and just about the loss of a dream. It has a poignancy that is actually comfortable...a little.
That's not exactly what I mean...
I know, much more clearly now, just what a best friend is. I know how to be one, I think.
And I know when I have one.
I have one in Joel, for sure. But there is something a little different when one's best friend is also one's spouse. Joel is great! and Joel is a woman friend, too.... Can't explain the difference, don't really care.
I love the people I love. I don't really have to see them often or live near them to love them well.....
...and one day, I'd like really to have a best friend.